Saturday, April 5, 2008


At age 31, I seem to find how things really work for me. For instance, how my writing helps me relieve stress, get rid of unwanted feelings, pour out my anger if I can't help but be upset about people, their ways or even mine. How my life passes through a needle of ups and downs as well as bump elbows with the least likable or unexpected.

For awhile, I thought of being free- from the grasps of social judgment. How others can easily put you down by their words. In time, I learned to go around and be with them, for as much as I want to deny, their words also benefit me.

These days past, I'm into reliving memories. With those who affected me the most either good or bad. My emotions sometimes get the worst out of me but still after lots of crying, crying and crying some more, I often relieve myself from the so called pangs of pain.

Here are some of my thoughts this week:

* " I stopped being who I was, for in loving you... I become who I am."

*" All my life, I do things based on what I know is right, still I end up losing.
When I somehow started it wrong, I end up discovering what seems to be the rightest thing."

* " We held ourselves captive of promises, when in fact, we know it can't always be kept."

*" Love. How I think my efforts must be rewarded. Either by submission, gratitude or recognition. When it's like buying love instead of earning it back."

* " Do not think, for once, you are not being loved. But of how you came to love yourself."

These are my random thoughts. All of which are defined by my experiences. I write about them to not be reminded of the ache or pain... but to see how I move from there.

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