Friday, October 31, 2008

The Act of Forgiveness

Today, I have realized the value of forgiving...shedding that old skin of despair and letting oneself shine beyond defeat.

I was severely hurt by people who I trusted and often did I question why.
I was being battered emotionally by the ones who acted as friends yet reveal themselves as enemies.
Each letdown was painful and a wound that never heals.

After my Grand father's death, I vowed to live the life I wanted.
I started to write and pursued it as a career and I did.
I opened new doors for other people and did they enter.
I, again became a feeling human after seven years of secluding my pains and in more ways was I've been blessed.

I have made a picture of myself achieving things which I foremost just dreamed.
I have renewed ties and re built forgotten relationships.
In less than a year, I felt that I was truly living and my Grandfather's demise proved to be a new beginning.

I must admit that I blamed myself for a lot of things, for reasons either personally inflicted or provoked by someone else.
I have lived and became quite fearless and in so doing, I commanded respect but gained a number of mistakes...ones which I will never be proud of so to speak.
Still, I opted to do the inevitable and change...for I want and have to.
A leap of faith became my greatest agony and for that I have began to feel that my acts are unforgivable.

The act of forgiving is tough as much as it is hard to forget.
It's ironic that at a time when I thought I have flown and defied boundaries, there would be times when I need to seek and learn to forgive.

Forgiveness for things I have done wrong.
Forgiveness for time wasted.
Forgiveness for not being true and real...

My grandfather died and I never had the chance to speak with him...
A year had passed and I am sort of grieving...
But I knew that the last thing he wants is for me to carry the burden and be incapable of forgiving...

That is why I need to do so and begin with myself.

From here on, My Grandfather's life would be celebrated....
His memories will never fade...
I thank him for giving me reasons to re think my life and act on them with faith.

To Lolo,
Your life would be our vision...something that will guide us in knowing what has to be dealt with.
That we may find the need to spend days with loved ones, friends and family.
Yours was a life that is felt and shared.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Move forward and never look back

The very first step in moving on is the ability to take steps backward. It is more of knowing and understanding what happened and not focusing on what merely went wrong. It is like taking in the loss and understanding what you have gained in the experience...what lessons it taught you and what future days will bring.

It is never easy. In fact, it is always difficult and hard to take. But remember- the harder the steps, the greater the reward.

We should not be tied up with past problems as it will consume you...break you. Thinking of problems and heart aches over and over will make you feel weak and ill. You will feel lonely and depressed; you will eventually give up and lose everything you worked hard for.

In making these steps, remind yourself of good things and blessings.

Reward yourself with minor achievements. Successful people revel on goals fulfilled and jobs greatly finished.

Gratitude is essential in seeing beneath life's treasure chest. God is great for he remembers and never forgets. He showers us with love and not just second chances.

Prioritize and never compromise loved ones and family. Be thankful for them. Surround them with affection and support their needs in ways you can.

Start your day with a prayer and end it with affirmation. Compassion is evident in words of heart and inner self.

Moving on does not only refer to a broken heart or unfulfilled promises. It has something to do with living and continually seeing life.

Moving on is like sailing the ocean amidst angry waves; a journey which will make you stronger and happier.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Of lost trust and daunted faith

For me, faith is something that one can't live without. Be it religion, an unknown source or fragmented imagination, it is always crucial to hold on to something that could make you stronger and move on. That to me, is the essence of faith...of hope.

In the past, I tend to believe people right away. Bearing in mind, that each person has within him this certain kind of truthfulness that will make you trust him. A stranger's ways could lead to friendships and stable relationships, lasting the test of time and struggles. I am very lucky for I have known people who can be trusted and believed in.

In the course of one's life, we are either destroyed or damaged by irreversible consequences brought by distrust and betrayal. And often, we find it quite hard to get back to where it all started. A friendship whose value remains in years can be tainted by issues relative to money or petty fights; others could have been due to arguments leading to eventual pain and severity of words said; some of which had lasted bearing in one's heart the arguments and misunderstandings. There is always the pride that keeps us from being humble and make us believe again, that something can be relived and tried the second time. But can you actually blame yourself for not giving these friendships a second chance?

All of us has different takes on this one. Some may argue how important life is to be wasted away just like that; how life is too short just to ignore people who want to be a part of your life. As for me, sure life is short, life is valuable so is time, yet it does not mean you have to re consider everything and definitely everyone.

The extent of the hurt, the act of grievance and thought of resentment must be totally banished from your system first. For every friendship lost, comes stages towards healing and relief. It does take time and normally, no one can always put the blame nor pinpoint the accusation to somebody else. You have a part in your own healing and you need to recognize the worth of chances given.

I am different and has a fragmented take on are everyone. I can never just pretend to go along and act as if I'm healed for I am not probably. A friendship taken by life's oddity can be taken back at a moment when you feel you can rebuild trust again. It could be my act of grievance, my thought of resentment but as I've said- it takes time. Life is too short indeed to be wasted on someone who can never do you any good. Nevertheless, life is too valuable to spend each moment re living a friendship that was not meant to be.

Be true always. It will help you think not of betrayal but of faith. Believing in the rightest things can spell a whole lot difference in how you see yourself. In the process, you will be kinder and genuine to friends and family. Value time and hope for the best.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Blind No More

About a week ago, I came across an email which literally took my interest and put my convictions to a halt. It has something to do with a short film, featuring a blind man begging on the streets. In it, many people stared, a couple dropped coins into the man's tin can while others never even stop to look or pay attention whatsoever. It was pretty much a scene that for others if not for some is quite ordinary. But then as the short film keeps on reeling, you would see this man passing by, who stopped for a moment and got hold of the beggar's sign. He took it, write something on it and put it back in place, just beside the old man's. As hours pass, you would notice the difference, people are starting to pay attention, dropping their change or coins, seemingly giving without holding back. It's amazing! But have you ever thought of asking- what did the man put on the beggar's sign? what stirred the interests and created the change?

With every sound of these coins dropping, the old man knows how full the tin can has become. That probably, he is having his greatest day ever. People for awhile stopped this time not ignoring his presence, taking at least minimal interest towards a beggar who practically stayed and lived on the streets. For sure, it was not the first time some of them had seen him yet now they are there noticing

As the beggar hears and perceives all these, the man who came before dropped by later that day. The blind man, knowing it was him, finally asked, "What did you do with my sign?" Then the man, donning his power suit and clean shoes so replied, "Nothing, I'd written the same thing but with different words." And then he left...

As for the sign? The beggar initially wrote these,

"Have compassion...I am blind."

then the man ended up writing these,

"Today is a beautiful day and I can't see it."

See, nothing can be taken away from someone who realizes things differently. It is true that life is a matter of perspective. You conceive something nice and positive, and the results would follow the same. Think of life as something negative, and you will end up perished and agonizing.

The man helped the beggar in the most simple yet rational way. He had not just given him a spare of change but a sign that would make him feel seen and appreciated. A very simple story but with a blessed end.

Happy reading!!!