"Time is too slow, for those who wait,
Too swift, for those who fear,
Too long, for those who grieve,
Too short, for those who rejoice...
But for those who LOVE...Time is eternity."
Have you ever wondered how you spend your time each day? Have you ever asked yourself how come time leaves us easily at moments when we want people and events to stay? It seems that time is neither a friend nor foe...for those who want it in their own terms.
It's no puzzle to those who knew me how I'd been as a stay-at-home wife for years. Many have expressed their surprise learning how I decided to remain at home, not working considering how competitive I was in school back then. Some have even commented that they never really expected me to be just at home and not pursuing a career. And most of the time, I am wondering did I really make the rightest decision for myself?
I must say it filled a cup if not a pitcher of bluish pressure. I started to question myself and my decisions. I even wanted to take a job just for the sake of having one unknowingly pressuring myself even more. I'm not putting a blame onto someone else's back but hearing comments make me somewhat vulnerable and for a time I have to discern my life in general in the most realistic and practical way possible.
It took a toll on me one time and I was more indecisive than before. My husband felt it too and he comforted me in ways he could ever knew. He often gives me assurance saying that he appreciates the littlest thing I do on his behalf; that his life would be a mess if I won't be there managing things around; that I am doing so many people a favor by sharing a part of me each day, extending my help to them unselfishly, that his life would not be that easy and wonderful if not for the little things I do for him. That part caught me, how sweet of him really.
But that was a year ago...when I realized my passion once more, I began to feel life breathing upon me. All this time, I am seeking for something that others imposed on me rather than finding something that would really inspire me. In my previous posts, I am elated each time I reveal my writing; the ways of I discovered this gift as well as relating experiences coupled with both anxiety and excitement. It was a process towards re discovery and affirmation. It was a moment of bringing the very inspiration I seek all along. It felt as if I'm a whole new person!
If not for my indecision, I would have never really wanted change. I could have faltered thinking I made time useless but in so doing, I knew of my other blessings. I should have never regarded time and thought of it as one expense. My life...our life is worth each minute or second. Whatever gives you joy or peace, be content with it. No matter how big or small...it pays to see beyond faces and places or ordinary things. For life is time well-spent with all the love taking its place.
I recall waiting for that moment and time graces so slow,
I remember being afraid of uselessness and time bent too low,
I made tears known and it flowed too long,
Love waved at me and made me strong.