in my mind...

Today started out typically the same. I woke up, drank coffee and ate my brunch, did some emailing then did my laundry. As it went out, I started receiving messages- inspirational ones from friends. And then I asked, "these all started out as thoughts from people...rhythmic lines of womanly and manly souls."

Yes, we often ignore or not pay attention to these messages, the forwarded ones. I was one of those. My friend Roel even knew how I ignored forwarded texts, for normally my thinking runs like this- if you want to check out on me, see if I'm okay, why not ask me straight?

But now, thinking of how forwarded messages come to life, I started appreciating each if not the person sending it. It's his/her way of saying hi. An expression of kindness and thought. A manner of showing how one gives importance to you...that he/she just wanted to let you know how you are still remembered...valued. Of course, there are those who picked it up out of habit. But what the heck? The fact that they invested their humbly peso means something after all. That such is well- spent on behalf of a friend,who may or may not react to it, yet knows you're there.

"Words are like leaves,
You say and utter them like flowing breaths of air.
They fall and could vanish before you know it,
But the meaning stays like imprints of time bared."

my thoughts for the day...

For quite some time, I have been wondering about how I fared in life these past years. I was once a dreamer, an idealist, always seeing things based on how I envision them to be. Seeking purpose in each day...overwhelming myself with the vastness of the world, overlooking the dreadful thought of realism.

Now...I have found myself still dreaming. Living in a life with all its' imperfections. Seeking love that is too daunting... I have left years ago with a courageous heart just to feel the rawness of emotions after.

New year, new dreams.
New life, new bliss.
Be armed with perception so real...
As it will leave you breathless, still.

Women: age 30 and up

For us women, age is never just a number. For instance, 7 means proper schooling; 12 is like the end of grade school; 16 is being in 4th year high school and 18 means one's entry to womanhood.
We associate our age usually with our life events, important happenings which create for us all those lovely memories. But what it is with age that women tend to fear? Do we really have to think that getting a year older means diminution in our physicality? Does it really have to be a negative thing? How about "embracing aging gracefully"? Besides, the no. of years we already spent in life means more than just losing one's fair or beauty.

Always keep a positive mind. Be healthy both in spirit and heart. It will help you outgrow insecurities and negate pessimism in our daily living. I must admit that I was a pessimist most of my life, yet it is only when I reached my late 20's when I finally realized LIFE AS A SPRING OF HOPE AND LOVE.

Leaving no stone unturned...

Today, i have received a great news! I finally have the chance to see if i can really write and be a writer! I have been relying on friends who keep on telling me that my writing is good. Of course, i want to believe them but the truth of the matter is- i don't.
I think it has something to do with the fact that i've written so many works,as in essays,articles and none of which have been read by many, in fact, no one from my immediate family knows that i do write. Fear of rejection- i think, is my enemy. My sense of insecurity always denies me the pleasure to believe and have faith in myself. But for years now, i am still pursuing my interest.
When i got married, i became a stay-at-home wife, and have not worked since. For seven years, i have been writing about almost anything and i keep each paper,folded and hidden. At a time when frustration got the best of me, i got rid of them all and have it burnt. Sad but true, that sometimes, the most important things have to be sacrificed just because i have not had the courage to stay true to myself.
But now, it's different. After my grandfather's demise, i have told myself that living my life means putting everything else in proper perspective- that i will try to be a better person; be more considerate of others; believe that change need not to be fearing nor gruesome but welcoming. And by the time i sent that very email, i knew that there is no turning back.
At this point, i still remember that day when a friend and I adapted the phrase- "believe in yourself". Yes, simple but life-changing.

"Pagtangis"

Sa pusong labis na balot ng lungkot,
Yaring hinagpis mariing bumabalot,
Mga luhang wangis ay tuyong talulot,
Sa nagdaang panahon, wari'y pahintulot.

Ang mga pusong hanap ay kabigkis,
Sa mga naulila, tanikala ang kaparis.
Hangad na pangako, di tuluyang bumalik,
Sa isang naghihintay, na bigong umiibig.

Sa pisngi ng kalahatan, may ilog na tumatangis,
Karimlan ay dusa sa kapalarang malupit.
Panahong lumipas, tila araw na sumilip,
Nagbabagang lungkot ang tanging alumpihit.

my first...

In life, we opt to decide on a lot of things- career, personal life, purpose. But each day presents a list of possibilities. We can decide when to start something new or to be satisfied with what we have presently.
I created this blog so i can finally do my first love- writing. When i was in school, my friends thought that i have this gift of gab.I can easily converse and speak what's in my mind. Yet, my own issues prevented me from pursuing writing as i content myself with writing journals for my own seeing. I have seen people who write and have their own blogs, i want to really emulate them and initiate it myself. I guess, after a long reprieve, i've decided to break my silence and take on the challenge to finally be heard through my words. A wonderful feeling indeed!