Today, i have received a great news! I finally have the chance to see if i can really write and be a writer! I have been relying on friends who keep on telling me that my writing is good. Of course, i want to believe them but the truth of the matter is- i don't.
I think it has something to do with the fact that i've written so many works,as in essays,articles and none of which have been read by many, in fact, no one from my immediate family knows that i do write. Fear of rejection- i think, is my enemy. My sense of insecurity always denies me the pleasure to believe and have faith in myself. But for years now, i am still pursuing my interest.
When i got married, i became a stay-at-home wife, and have not worked since. For seven years, i have been writing about almost anything and i keep each paper,folded and hidden. At a time when frustration got the best of me, i got rid of them all and have it burnt. Sad but true, that sometimes, the most important things have to be sacrificed just because i have not had the courage to stay true to myself.
But now, it's different. After my grandfather's demise, i have told myself that living my life means putting everything else in proper perspective- that i will try to be a better person; be more considerate of others; believe that change need not to be fearing nor gruesome but welcoming. And by the time i sent that very email, i knew that there is no turning back.
At this point, i still remember that day when a friend and I adapted the phrase- "believe in yourself". Yes, simple but life-changing.