Friday, October 31, 2008

The Act of Forgiveness

Today, I have realized the value of forgiving...shedding that old skin of despair and letting oneself shine beyond defeat.

I was severely hurt by people who I trusted and often did I question why.
I was being battered emotionally by the ones who acted as friends yet reveal themselves as enemies.
Each letdown was painful and a wound that never heals.

After my Grand father's death, I vowed to live the life I wanted.
I started to write and pursued it as a career and I did.
I opened new doors for other people and did they enter.
I, again became a feeling human after seven years of secluding my pains and in more ways was I've been blessed.

I have made a picture of myself achieving things which I foremost just dreamed.
I have renewed ties and re built forgotten relationships.
In less than a year, I felt that I was truly living and my Grandfather's demise proved to be a new beginning.

I must admit that I blamed myself for a lot of things, for reasons either personally inflicted or provoked by someone else.
I have lived and became quite fearless and in so doing, I commanded respect but gained a number of mistakes...ones which I will never be proud of so to speak.
Still, I opted to do the inevitable and change...for I want and have to.
A leap of faith became my greatest agony and for that I have began to feel that my acts are unforgivable.

The act of forgiving is tough as much as it is hard to forget.
It's ironic that at a time when I thought I have flown and defied boundaries, there would be times when I need to seek and learn to forgive.

Forgiveness for things I have done wrong.
Forgiveness for time wasted.
Forgiveness for not being true and real...

My grandfather died and I never had the chance to speak with him...
A year had passed and I am sort of grieving...
But I knew that the last thing he wants is for me to carry the burden and be incapable of forgiving...

That is why I need to do so and begin with myself.

From here on, My Grandfather's life would be celebrated....
His memories will never fade...
I thank him for giving me reasons to re think my life and act on them with faith.

To Lolo,
Your life would be our vision...something that will guide us in knowing what has to be dealt with.
That we may find the need to spend days with loved ones, friends and family.
Yours was a life that is felt and shared.

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