Monday, July 28, 2008

Childhood Dreams

I remember one time, when I was about eight years old, I have always wanted to grow up fast so that I could start somebody and not just stay as this fragile-looking girl who stays up late and just dream.

I remember one time, I told myself that I wanted to be this and that and this again,hehe. So many things I have wanted to achieve as if everything can be done so easily. That is how an eight-year old mind works..full of hope and dreams.

I remember wanting to become a ballerina, a teacher, a secretary even a stewardess....a writer. I recall wishing to become a figure skater or a gymnast or a child singing wonder. It's like when you're feel as if anything is possible; that life is nothing but a playground. So whimsical, joyful, and immensely beautiful. You see things at its best and lightest moment; you appreciate people as if they can never do you wrong; you aspire as if it's the best way to live and you dream as if there's no tomorrow. MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS ARE LIKE MY GREATEST FANTASIES.

23 years later, I found myself simply as someone who holds in her heart these wondrous dreams. I never became a stewardess, gymnast or a ballerina but know what? I feel as if I am still young...full of hope and sharing a life filled with good memories of what I was before. I don't know, maybe life taught me that dreams never stop from becoming could have taken a different path yet still you knew the precious token of aspiring for something new and good if not great. Dreams take shape and become varied along the way, it never stays.

I also promised before how I wanted my kids to fulfill the dreams, my dreams. But then I realized I should not think of passing onto them my secret wishes or greatest fantasies. A child becomes a child at a moment when she feels she can do anything, without having someone or anyone telling her what to do or what to become. I wanted my kids to have their own dreams, childhood dreams. I want them to feel how it's like to think and believe that there is one world out there ready to be explored and experienced. I won't make their dreams for them. I won't let my wishes become theirs. I want them to become someone who knows what it takes to live and be free.

Now, I am doing everything I can to become a writer. I learned business in college and graduated accordingly but dreams are like nightmares you know,hehe. It can haunt you but with a good feel. I still pause whenever I see ballerinas and gymnasts or figure skaters on TV, I still wonder and think of what could have happened if I pursued those instead. But you know what? If I cannot become any of those, it does not mean I can never be someone. I still can. I will. :)

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