There's always the brighter side on things as much as there's the dimmer side. When I hear of people and their love stories, it's either I feel or see myself in them. If a person close to me happens to deal with a heart problem...then seeks my advice, I tend to give answers I myself found amazing. For in saying or giving those words...I am surprised at how I can come up with those things.
Losing oneself (in a relationship) begins when small things go unnoticed. When petty fights and misunderstandings are being ignored simply for convenience. Convenience, in terms of saving each other's time; minding reasons which often mean, "I know your point- so you don't need to say it" kind of thing? Yes, at times, when we want to talk, as in talk, either the other shuts us out or does not really understand but pretends he did.
That's why maybe friends get along better than lovers. It's because in friendship, we make ourselves available; we listen. We open our minds and are willing to give without necessarily taking. When we meet and have known friends...we become ourselves to the point of being brutally honest. We pay attention at the same time, regard each one's welfare. Unlike in a romantic relationship, we seem to give so much...we end up losing both our hearts and heads.
Late last night, upon learning of my dear friend's turmoil, I end up saying this-
"If you're with someone(you deeply love) and still you're confused and unhappy, then something is wrong. If being with him/her means not being true to yourself, then you got to end it...it's hard I know but you've got to ask- Is he the one for you? Sometimes, we're afraid to let go of someone because we love them...but if it means experiencing hurt over and over, why stay? If loving that person meant losing your purpose and happiness, would you wait till you lose yourself?
Love is supposedly uplifting...it's there for a reason that's supposedly right.