Friday, February 1, 2008


It was months after she resumed her job as a freelance writer. Been updating contacts; checking her email. As she rummaged through the stacks of paper in front her, Jenna has never imagined finding this one letter that will change her life…and love forever.

It was half past nine and coffee is the only thing keeping Jenna fully awake. In her hand is a pretty neat, white envelope bearing a not-so-unfamiliar name. “This should be him. But how did he..?” Jenna felt, her fingers could not manage to rip or tear a part of it, minding its’ detail inch by inch. “Here goes nothing…,” Jenna thought. First there was the scent of this light-colored stationery, she scanned it seeing the loops and dots all known to be someone else’s handwriting- Francis’.

Francis Cruz. The boy who caught Jenna’s heart a long time ago; the apple of her and her best friend’s eyes too. As she carefully read everything, she suddenly recalled the days when she would speak of him not to everyone but to herself. Wishing at the back of her mind, the endless what-ifs and could’ve been, pretending all the while as this ever loyal friend giving way to a blossoming young love back then. Until that fateful night came…

Gina, her best friend came to her dorm rushing. She was crying and Jenna knew all along- Francis just broke up with her. Gina had been saying things, how it all happened, how he decided to end it anyway. How he said Gina wasn’t the right girl; how he liked someone else. Jenna pretended to just hear but somehow felt guilty. For she knew very well who the woman Francis is talking about…it was Jenna herself.

“Damn it! How could he?! Does he know what I sacrificed for him? I’ve been trying to please him the best way I can. Am I not enough?! Tell me Jen, what’s wrong with me?!”

“Nothing’s wrong with you…nothing.”

If only she had the courage to tell how Francis told her everything the night before. If only she said no then Gina wouldn’t be like this and all is well for sure. But she loves him…way before Gina came…ever since when? Only Jenna knows.

It was a love so unexpected. It was an affair that lasted alongside her best friend’s. It wasn’t right but Jenna can’t refuse, how could she? If her happiness seems to be hers too, sharing a love that is painful for her yet undeniable.

But some secrets are meant to be known. One of them is the love she and Francis have been sharing for nearly six months. Gina never hesitated confronting her, saying the meanest and hurtful words friends wouldn’t dare to. She kept silent…taking it all as if it was her fault…and so she decided to end whatever there is between her and Francis. All said in a letter, no personal meetings whatsoever.

As she finished reading, memories came to her as if it happened just yesterday. The lack of closure, as well as the many unanswered questions, but this time it’s different. Francis is back and Jenna knew guilt is something she won’t bear this time.

Four years had passed. Gina never trusted her again. Francis went on living his life. And Jenna, remained a hopeless romantic, searching for the love she knew she will never find.

If there is something about that letter, it is more than enough for her. Inside is the love that was once raw but real, a love that brought her back both the memories and wonder. Jenna is fully awake now, not because of caffeine but because on the next few days…there is one flight worth-waiting.

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